Whenever Everything Else Fails

You would think that Christmas time would be the happiest time of the year...spending time with family, vacation from work/school, being lazy, etc. But this year has been something different from any other year for me.

Here's how it all began...

I moved to VA Beach this past August to live closer to the man I love dearly. I left all my friends (who are still at the Bible college I transfered from), and I'm now 8 hours from my family instead of 1 hour. So there have been many times (at least once a month!) that I will cry about missing my friends and being so far from my family. First of all, it's so hard to find good, godly friends. I definitely have been missing my good friends at my old college. Secondly, I'd loved the option of being able to go home for a quick weekend/night if I wanted/needed to. Now I don't have those things. I thought coming home would be something I would definitely enjoy. But it's not at all like what I thought it would be like.

There has been a strain on our family for the past couple of months now. Everyone is growing up and differences start to show. Well, since none of my family reads this blog, I'll just explain so that anyone who does read it, could give some advice possibly?! For example, a couple years ago I dated a guy that was completely wrong for me in every area. He was charming, handsome, and had all the right things to say, but in the areas that mattered, he didn't cut it. My entire family could see it, but I couldn't. They tried saying things to me and warning me, but I pushed them farther and farther away because I didn't see what they saw. Finally, after the 3rd time of dating this guy and breaking up with him did the Lord really open my eyes. I can't exactly remember WHY or HOW I realized it...but maybe one day I'll remember. Anyway, the EXACT same thing is going on right now with my sister. My entire family disagrees with her dating him and she has moved farther and farther away from each of us. She's asked us each of our opinions and she knows how we feel, except for some reason it doesn't matter. Before she started dating him, our opinions meant the world to her.

My mom keeps telling my brother and I that we need to stop saying things because the more we say, the more she is going to want to date him. It really doesn't make sense to me! There has been so much tension here at home, it really makes me want to stay in va beach and not come home. But I don't want that. I love my family! But I don't want this drama in the house. Why can't my sister see it?

And there is a great example of questioning the plan of God. There IS a reason for this guy in my sister's life right now, and there IS a reason for the tension in my family. But my heart hurts right now. And I don't know how to make everything better. I'm the kind of person who just wants to fix everyone's problems and make everyone feel okay.

Trust. God wants me to trust Him right now. He wants me to be kind even when I don't want to be kind. He wants me to choose the right words instead of hurtful words. He wants me to understand that I have absolute no control over this situation as much as I'd like to.

So that is exactly what I need to pray for. I need to realize every day, in every aspect of each day, that God is in control and I need to cast my cares upon Him. It's hard for me to leave EVERYTHING in God's hands, but it seems aparent that He wants me to learn that lesson.

Thank you Lord for the lesson you teach us! Please make me grow closer to You because of the things and situations you bring into my life!